he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
