Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize