He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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