I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Randomize
