Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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