What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
