I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
lol hangovers are for mortals.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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