just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
