Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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