he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize