This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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