Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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