I CAN MOONWALK!
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
