Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
My pussy is not your playground.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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