btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
