I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
