We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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