if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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