I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
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