Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
