I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
