Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
