hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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