no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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