I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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