just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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