yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
