Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
i think im in europe. pls send help
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize