No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
