I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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