We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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