I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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