Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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