Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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