like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
