After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
operation have a gay friend backfired
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
