well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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