i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
