My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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