I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
where are my eyebrows?
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