As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
