So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
