dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
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