i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
