We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
