He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize