My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
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