The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
