so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
