My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
i think my cat just said my name.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Randomize
