Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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