i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
