I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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