the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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