Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
