The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
the liver wants what the liver wants
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
