billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
