So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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