Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
