Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
