is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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