Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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