Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
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