Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I will pee on everything he values.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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