their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
