one two three fourrrrnication!
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Be still, my beating vagina.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
